As We Go Through Life

Life is not a matter of chance, but a matter of choice.

 Every day in our life, we can notice that people change attitudes and personalities. A businessman may be so enthusiastic today, but may be so depressed tomorrow. Your modest and beautiful crush may become sassy one of these days. Even you, who is so confident of yourself, might become so insecure after, because of the circumstances arose. That is life!

 Life indeed is a paradox. There would really be an opposite reaction to your very act, (according to the law of motion in Physics). But, even the famous psychologist Erik Erikson testified these instances. According to him, every stage of our life is so crucial because we might fall to malignancy or maladaptation in our identity development. However, he also said that beyond malignancy and maladaptation, there is something in between that if we could balance our identity development; we may be able to acquire this. This something is what he called virtue.

 But, it is not always that we are capable o grasping things accordingly to achieve life’s virtues. It is impossible because we, human as we are, can experience so many events that merely affect us; we are limited. These circumstances could both help and hinder us to achieve a balance identity as a person.

 I, myself, dealt such situations. Since I was in my elementary years, I am able to experience bullies and teases from my contemporaries. I am aware of the reason why they can dare to do it to me. This is because it seems that I am weak; I act so weak. Ever since, I have been living such kind of life; I understand. In fact, it did not hinder me to excel in school. I became part of the top 10 honor students. I joined dance presentations, poster making, and many more. It did not stop me for enjoying my childhood. With this, I have built my confidence; I am free to dream of whom I want to be someday, and what kind of life would I enter into.

 Through the span of time, I can still encounter so many things that can provoke me. However, I learned so much from my experiences. Based on Erikson’s theory, we can acquire these malignancies or maladaptations if we go either of the two. And, these are being triggered with the various situations we are confronting with. “Life is not a matter of chance, but a matter of choice.” – This quotation always occupies my mind as I ponder life. True enough; because, sometimes, you just have to withdraw your very self and be someone whom you are not just to conform yourself among the people you are dealing with. You do this because, we, as Filipinos, are tend to approval of authority and of society.  Hence, you don’t want to be isolated and be hated because it’s not easy to live on your own stake, and to live in a situation in which you seem nonexistent. . Whether we like it or not, as our culture also would tell us, we need someone in our life. Is life really that when you are malignant, you are like this, and if you are maladaptive, you become like this? Personally, I believe that life is a matter of choice, not a chance. We have choices. I, myself can choose to become someone despite malignancy or maladaptation of personality, whether this is what I really want to be or not, due to relative circumstances.

 Life is not constant; we are not constant. I can see that when I was young I am emotionally weak in spite of being an active child. I easily cry when I can feel pain physically or emotionally. But this changed as time passed by. Now, I can say that I have grown more maturely in many aspects of human identity and personality. Again, this is due to sudden events that greatly affect me. However, there is one good thing with it. It is that through this, you build a personality you can call your own which in due time would change, and become more improvised. You are being molded to be a strong and mature person to decide who you want to be. With this, you may able to build your dreams in life for yourself and for the world. 

                                          

                                                             - Juan Mercado